Blessed Assurance

This is the hymn played at church last week. I didn't remember the line in this song that causes me pause, that gives me goose bumps.
"This is my story, this is my song. Praising my Savior all the day long."

My mind went to this blog. It went to my deciding to tell my story. It helped me see that I needed to find my story. In many ways, writing and publishing a part of my life helped me to find myself. Without our stories, we are without our songs.
I spent my growing up time in families where we didn't tell many stories. If we don't talk about it, it didn't happen. I felt compelled to change that dynamic, and it has made me very vulnerable. It has also given me great insight.
I talked to Pat Conroy at a book signing. It was a brief conversation, but very intense. He had talked about writing the book about his dad and his dad's reaction. I asked him about this. It had freed him, and I remarked back to him. "It probably freed your dad, too."
I think it is terribly important that we all tell our stories, without shame and without judgement. I think this is what this song means. Telling your story can bring Blessed Assurance.
One thing that I've been struggling with for 2 years now came to a head when I look at a mistake I made. When I was asked to leave our church, I set myself as being in Exile. I did this in one last hope that I would be able to return once things settled down. I now realize this was wrong of me.
I sat in our current church last Sunday, and I realize that I am home. I am now a Methodist with brothers and sisters who fill seats beside me. I know that I am welcome and loved, and I am not looking for proof of it. For over a year, I've been sitting on the edges, in a self imposed exile. I think in some way, I was trying to punish myself. Maybe I was trying to prove something. I'm not sure. Fear of making a mistake has held me stuck in a place that I don't want to be anymore.
So, this is my story. I wonder what comes next.