I read a book a couple of years ago titled 'The Cloister Walk'. I'd be quoting from this book right now, but I lent it to one of my token Baptist friends. It is book, written by a poet who spent some time in a Monastery. In this book, she talked about chanting the Psalms. She talked about how the Monks would use their breath in certain ways, sing in such a way that their voice would meld into the others. There is a real majesty as to why the psalms are chanted certain ways and why. I know very little about all of this, but I started paying attention. I was at a retreat a few months ago, and really participated for the first time. I don't sing well, but I could try to hide my voice among retreatants and nuns. By the third day, I had even gotten a little bit comfortable with it. It became a meditation, a quieting of my mind. The words took on some meaning for me, they became alive.
Last weekend, I had an appointment at the Episcopal Convent. I timed it so that I could participate in Diurnum and chant the Psalms. My 5 year old tagged along with me for this appointment He loves going and has made several friends there. So, he sat with me in the chapel. I approached the service with great reverence, only to find my child sitting beside me grinning from ear to ear. He even tickled me at one point. I found it quite beautiful and whole. I could be solemn and reverent, while being rubbed and prodded. He could be a five year old and absorb the sounds, and sights. I can only imagine what goes through his mind as he sits in a church service. He seems to understand it so much better than most.
So, it came to me that there are several times when I get to see who I am in the context of an experience. I am someone who has mostly let my kids tag along. Because of this, I have a 5 year old who loves to go spend time at a convent! He learns something new every time he goes, and we have much to talk about. At the same time, I was able to feed myself with Spiritual Direction, chanting the psalms and lunch with great people. There are times to go alone, and there are times to share it with others.
I am very, very grateful for this place of friendship, retreat and community for me. They even let Carter ring the bell!
