Shadow

"The shadow also, however, can contain the divine, the luscious, beautiful, and powerful aspects of personhood. For women, especially, the shadow almost always contains very fine aspects of being that are forbidden or given little support by her culture. At the bottom of the well in the psyches of too many women lies the visionary creator, the astute truth-teller, the far-seer, the one who can speak well of herself without denigration, who can face herself without cringing, who works to perfect her craft." p. 236 of Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

One day, I happened to be looking at the website for a convent and discovered a workshop happening on the weekend of my 35th birthday. I decided, as a gift to myself, I would get away for the weekend. It would be my first weekend away in many years, and my first one away from my then 2 year old son. Little did I know what I was getting into!

It was a workshop about Shadow. I can't remember the exact title, but it was an invitation to face our shadow, and learn to dance with it. Our shadow is made up of our unconscious part of ourselves. It is the part that holds our deepest pain, deepest fears and deepest regrets. That part of the shadow is called dark. Yet, it is only about 10 per cent of our shadow. The rest is called golden shadow. Usually, because we are afraid of the dark part, we don't spend time using our golden shadow. By doing this, we tend to loose the best part of ourselves. This quote from a book I am reading, helped me remember all of that. I made a conscious choice that weekend. I accepted the invitation to face my darkest fears. While facing them, I found a way to love myself and find healing. I found my way in this world.