Today is the International Day of Women. It has made me ponder what it was like to grow up in the south during a time when my own state helped defeat the Equal Rights Amendment. It was a very different culture than we seem to have today. When I was young, women were not allowed to do the same things as men. I remember having one hell of a temper tantrum when my younger brother was given a bb gun, and I was not. I remember having to beg to go rabbit hunting with my father. I wasn't allowed to play football, because it was for boys. My outdoor/sports side ended up being labeled 'tomboy'. My parents gave into it for the most part, but just being myself made me think that I was acting like a boy. I remember feeling as though I had to apologize for being a girl. After reading the book "Women who run with Wolves", I thought very differently.
The culture was also decidedly in favor of men. I remember having conversations at school when as woman (gasp) had been given the nomination for Vice President. One student commented that she would 'bomb the Russians when she had PMS'. Medical schools only admitted 5% women. There were very few women in professions. As most women of my mother's generation have told me: "I could be a secretary, teacher or nurse." I could really go on for pages about the kinds of comments made against women by police officers, doctors and preachers. Every one of them was hurtful and made me wish I had been born male. It was also a time when women's innate abilities were stymied with twilight sleep for birth and formula feeding.
So, my desire to be successful in life seemed to lead me towards wanting to act like a man. At first, I majored in Engineering and was usually the only woman in a class. My first job out of college was running ambulance calls. I was one of a few women in the entire department, and set to prove myself as good as any man. I was rejecting the idea of becoming a nurse, even though that is what my heart desired.
My world turned upside down when I gave birth to my first child. I had been blessed with watching my womanhood at its greatest. I created, grew and then fed this little one. I was unique in what I could do. Men certainly couldn't do this. For the first time in my life, I was thankful to be a woman. I started looking into my femininne side, being creative, cooking. I started doing things that were stereotypically woman's work. I bet my pendulum swung far away from my 'tom boy' box.
After having more kids and growing a bit, I've started to realize that I live in a very different culture. My kid's pediatrician is a woman. I pointed on a parade float at our Governor, who is a woman. I told my kids to look and see it is a woman in a place of political leadership. I just don't see all of these cultural barriers in place for my kids. They are lucky enough to have a father who hasn't imposed any sort of bias on them. He wasn't even threatened when I had to show him how to clean a fish.
So, hopefully, my kids can live in a way that they don't have to prove anything, and they don't have to fight against bias. I am hoping they just get to be who they are without any sort of exterior or (more insidious) internal oppression. Maybe even I can relearn what it means to be a woman. Perhaps I could even reframe my childhood lens from 'tomboy' to 'Warrior'.
No comments:
Post a Comment