Chastity

I was eating a meal at the convent with some Sisters. One of them joked saying that she thought in another life, I would have been a Nun. I laughed. "You have 3 vows, I could only handle two of them." I was referring to the vow of Chastity. I had taken it to mean the obvious refraining from you know what. I had not thought much more about it until the life-profession of a Nun. It was explained that Chastity is much more than that. It is loving people without expectations of anything. It is humans loving each other as God loves us. It keeps us from wanting the other person to be something that we WANT them to be.
I was quite convicted by this statement, realizing that I try to make people into what they are not. It is excruciating trying to let someone be exactly who they are, without any desire to change them or receive something from them. I should not expect others to love me a certain way, as perhaps a father loves his child. I shouldn't try to replace something missing in my life by loving or being loved by someone else.
So, in a way, I was right in saying that I don't think I could take this vow. It is far more complicated than refraining from a physical act. It is opening yourself up to loving without restraint. For many of us, it seems impossible to give this sort of love when we have never received it. This is something that children should live with. It is the sort of love that helps us know exactly who we are. It teaches us that we have inherit worth, not one based on performance. It is far easier to grow, love and serve others when we have Chastity as part of our being.
When I think of things this way, I begin to realize why I have so much affection for this Order. To be associated with a group of people who have loved me simply as I am has been very healing and affirming for me. It has given me a place to heal and grow. Perhaps, one day, I will learn the spiritual art of Chastity.