Pull me!!

Here I am at the bottom, pushing on this lady's left foot.  This wall is impossible to get over by yourself.  In fact, even our team of 4 needed help.  I am much more comfortable giving support, helping, pushing, pulling.  I am not a big fan of being the one needing help.
I started to walk around the wall and not try for myself, but I decided to give it a try.  It was very vulnerable standing on some one's shoulders.  All of my strength went to keep from falling backwards, which I almost did.  I finally put up both of my hands and yelled "Pull me!"  I even lifted up a foot and offered it to someone else to grab.  In total, I think that it took about 5 or 6 people to get me up on the lip of the top.  I got stuck, again, as I tried to work my boobs and belly over.  Then, it was my turn to help again as I grunted really loud and helped worked my weight onto the top of the wall.  Then came a bigger yell.  "Oh, Yeah!!".  It was exhilarating to get over a wall so high.
The mudrun was a really good thing for me to do.  I learned a lot about myself and it brought up many emotions for me.  I haven't pushed my body this hard in decades, and it shows it.
It also brought something very, very important home to me.  I am never alone.  Never.
I was new to the ER and worked my first code as a nurse.  I became very upset with another co-worker, I felt out of place and the all the stress got to me.  Later, as we were preparing the body, the charge nurse came in to speak with me and another new nurse.  She said "You two need to understand one thing.  I don't care where you are in this hospital, there is always help.  You are never alone."  I let her words soak in as I tried to figure out what kind of nurse I wanted to be.  I let those words soak in when I realize how much I fear being left behind.  I let her words work on my fears of feeling all alone.
When I act as if I am all alone, I am left behind the wall.  When I remember there are many, many people in this world who are working right along side me, I can accomplish most anything.  Oh Yeah!!