I am a mother of 4 children. I work full time. We live in the country with chickens, goats and animals. We try to have a garden every year. I want to raise more chickens this year. Our children are very involved in sports, church, plays....
I don't ever really feel like I have time to do the things I really want to do for my family. I spend most of my weekends cooking, baking and cleaning the house. There is the occasional date with my husband (don't forget about him). I have friends having babies. I enjoy spending time with my girl friends. I also try to pick up time at my part-time job in the ER.
I can't remember the last time I finished a book. I am tired.
My tiredness is not physical, I actually feel better than I have in years. My soul has gotten tired. I get pulled in so many different directions, I just don't get to sit still and renew.
I am spending this weekend at a convent where the rhythm of life revolves around the daily offices. Bells ring to tell us to go to chapel to pray or the dining hall to eat. I look forward to renewing long-distance relationships and letting my soul feel safe and nurtured.
In the 15 years I have spent mothering other people, I have learned one very important thing. I have to take care of myself. Sometimes, I have to retreat to a place where I refresh my role as a daughter and sister. I need to receive in order to give to those who depend on me for so much.
I can't wait!
I understand.
ReplyDeleteTo a degree, I wonder if this is the curse of competence. As we grow, we become mentors to others (as someone recently mentioned). We have find ourselves with more of the proverbial balls in the air. It takes concentration to simply keep track of all of these proverbial balls.
I would like to make an analogy to computers.
In the days of mainframe computers, multiple users would share a single computer. The computer would divide its time between all of the users. In theory, the computer would load the user's program, do some of the computations, and then go on to the next user's program.
The problem with the mainframe's multitasking approach is that it takes a little time to transition from one user to the next. As a result, the mainframe could spend all of its time loading and unloading programs and not actually accomplishing anything. When the mainframe reached this point, it was known as thrashing.
When there are too many things going on simultaneously, I find that I can get into a personal state of thrashing. I spend so much time simply keeping track of everything, that I never actually accomplish anything.
Having fewer things to track, such as at a convent, is probably a good method of avoiding thrashing.
(I wonder how many times a convent been compared to a mainframe?)
Nice blog. Michael, I would guess this is the first, but it worked.
DeleteSteve
One of the most refreshing times I've ever experienced was a weekend rest at a convent. I still remember the bed I was assigned there as "bed from heaven" because I slept so well and was so rested afterwards!
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