I guess one of the reasons I have not posted in awhile is simple. I don't feel like I can say what I really, really want to. Therefore, I say nothing. It sounds a bit childish, and there is a pretty long story behind all of this. Yet, right now, I am in no man's land. I have learned a very hard lesson lately. When I put some of my thoughts out to the world, people can use them. They can use them as a part of their own story, building relationships. Or, people can use my words to malign, humiliate or shame me.
This is a bit of a stumbling block for me right now, and I am trying to noodle my way through this one. I think the hardest part for me is simple, I cannot control what people will do with my words. I can simply try to remain true to my own story, and not be afraid to speak up. I don't like acting out of fear, or desperation.
One thing is certain, I love it when I hear people tell me how my writing has touched them. I learned, recently, that someone has one of my posts up on her refrigerator. That makes me so grateful for the risks that I have taken here, and lucky to be a part of another person's story.
So, forgive me while I pout for a little while. I've gotten my feelings hurt. One thing I have learned for sure: I will never, ever, ever quit telling my story. I want my kids and other people to know one thing about me. I have absolutely NO shame in who I am, or where I come from. I am simply a human being on a journey. My journey, no body else's. I may share it with you by publishing a blog, but I will not give it to you. It is not yours to take.
Posts are like e-mail, the nuance is often lost in the electrons. Attempts to show the irony of a statement ;-) are insufficient for the range of nuance that we need to express. I, for one, certainly worry about whether my comments will be read in a manner that is different from what I intended to say.
ReplyDeleteIn brief, I sympathize.
(From a hotel in Muscat)
Where is Muscat? Micheal, I am willing to keep letting people misunderstand me, because I enjoy so much keeping up with people like you. Thanks for hanging out with me here. Reading is really in the mind of the reader. You will only find that which you are looking for. I just people wouldn't use thier positions of authority to search for the wrong things. Take care!
ReplyDeleteFYI, Muscat is the capital of the country of Oman. Oman is on the Arabian peninsula across the Persian Gulf from Iran. I had to look it up on a map, too.
ReplyDeleteI really like Oman. This is where Sinbad the sailor docked. Frankensence is grown here. There are beautifully jagged mountains that reach down to the sea and there are castles/watch towers on many of the castle tops. Unlike many of the places in the region, Oman has a sense of history and is a "real" country (unlike, say, Dubai).
For the countries in the region, it is more laid-back and more happy than most. And by far the most scenic.
(From the airport in Houston on the way back from the United Arab Emirates)
This is good stuff.
ReplyDelete