Twice in the past couple of weeks, I have reconnected with old friends. It had been years since I had seen or spoken to either one of them. With the first friend, I had heard the news that he was facing life-threatening cancer. I sat and counted the years since I had seen him. It was over 15 years since I had made any effort to see him. Embarrassment set in as I realized that I had been too caught up with my own life. I don't even send out Christmas cards anymore. I fretted over how, or when to go visit him. I was worried that he would be mad at me for waiting so long to show up. I finally found a day, jumped in my car with homemade banana bread and headed out for the 2 hour drive. I was nervous as I walked up the steps and found him sitting in his chair. In about 30 seconds, I realized that nothing else really mattered. I was here to be present with a friend. Everything else washed away. Within about 5 minutes, we were laughing, remembering old times. It was a wonderful visit. I am so utterly grateful for an opportunity to remember what really matters. I think that I recieved far more of a blessing than I gave. I spent much of my ride home, realizing how much of life is wasted worrying about things that do not matter. Worse than that, I started to realize how time I have wasted feeling sorry for myself.
With the second friend, we have a long history of ups and downs. It was nothing out of the ordinary in friendships. Yet, it had been a long time since we had put any effort towards reconnecting. When I found out his baby had been born with a serious birth defect, all of those issues washed away in about 3 seconds. I just wanted to call him and tell him how much I loved him. When life challenges you in this way, nothing else matters. Being present with a friend is what really matters.
I think that jobs that I have had are very helpful for me in this case. I have been a paramedic and ER nurse. When you have seen the things I have seen, and done the things that I have done, it is easy to remember that what really matters.
Isn't it fabulous how quickly the old patterns and patter of lasting friendships can be re-established!
ReplyDeleteRemember that you do not have to wait for a medical trauma to reconnect. Reconnecting just for the fun of it (because it is a Friday?) is okay, too. No one is ever distressed that you remembered them.