Frustration

•The feelings, thoughts, and behaviors associated with not achieving a particular goal or the belief that a goal has been prematurely interrupted.
allpsych.com/dictionary/dictionary2.html

I am beginning to think that this blog is simply a record of the hard lessons I have learned over the past year. Well, guess what: I learned another hard lesson last night. I realized that when I say things out of frustrations, people can get hurt. I realized that when things are said this way, there can be some real unintended consequences. I has started to chalk this up to one more of my many, many "mistakes". Fortunately, a friend (who is wise beyond her years) said something that set me straight. She said that if it is something that you can learn from, then it wasn't a mistake. It means that you learned from it so that you won't do it again. What a positive way of looking at things! She helped me feel better about myself, and held me accountable to my experiences and knowledge.
So, this is the lesson. I have been trying to figure out why, at times, I come across to people in an unintended way. I think that I need to do a much better job of understanding when I am really frustrated. When I am really frustrated is NOT the time to speak. It is NOT the time to post things on Facebook. Most of all, it is NOT the time to write a blog. I realize, now, that some of the things I have posted here were written in frustration. I had the best of intentions, but frustration, anger, hurt skew things in a way that cause things to be misunderstood.
So here is another definition of frustration:
a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/frustration)

So, I think that frustration comes from a sense of powerlessness, immaturity. I need to get away from those feelings. I think that I have a habit of selling myself short. I forget that I do have some power and maturity. Scarier than that, I might even gain some authority. I need to access that part of me and learn better the ways to act in this world. I might even try smiling and joking with people, instead of walking around frustrated.