Please send someone else!!

Exodus 4:10-13


10 But Moses said to the LORD, "O my Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor even now that you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue."

11 Then the LORD said to him, "Who gives speech to mortals? Who makes them mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD?

12 Now go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you are to speak."

13 But he said, "O my Lord, please send someone else."

I sat with my spiritual director struggling with this nagging question: Could God possibly be calling me? Could God possibly call me to do things? She talked to me about this particular story. I wonder how Moses must have felt when he started to hear God speak. Am I crazy? Why me? Let someone else do it. I don't like this. What will this mean?
That conversation was several years ago. Many, many things have happened with me since then. I have become much more aware of how God can use people, even me. My work as a nurse has become very rewarding. I've been blessed to have many conversations with the pastoral staff and other nurses about our call to serve others. I've had ministries within my church that felt very rewarding at times. At times, I am engulfed in the blessings of motherhood and family.
Yet, somehow, I cannot shake this feeling of "Oh my Lord, please send someone else.". It is with fear that I approach many of my decisions right now. I have a growing sense of peace, knowing that I am probably making the right decisions. I am just left wondering where it will all end up. I guess that is the hard part. I don't get to know. I just get to keep going forward, hoping, praying, trusting.