Turning 40

I turn 40 years old today. It got me to thinking about other major birthdays. I spent my 18th birthday on my first day of college at Clemson. I was lost most of the day and completely overwhelmed with being away from home. It was not a pleasant day, lost in the chaos of a new life.
I spent my 20's working as a paramedic. I experienced, saw and did things that most people never dream of. It was where I cut my teeth in medicine, and it made me a better person. I was married and birthed 2 children. I fell in love with mother/baby care and this is what propelled me to go to nursing school.
Ironically, my 30th birthday was spent in an auditorium for my first day of nursing school. At the time, I thought I was too old to go back to college. One day, I had decided that I would be 32 in two years. I could be 32 and nurse, or 32 and still not a nurse. Every single day, I am grateful that I went back to school to enter into this profession. My 30's were quite turbulent at times. I opened myself up to deal with much of the baggage I carried around with me. Our family struggled a great deal during this decade. I had 2 more children. Our marriage struggled , our finances struggled through unemployment, our children struggled in school. We managed to press on and go from surviving to thriving. We built our dream house in the country, found great jobs and found our tribe of true friends.
This summer has been filled with angst about this birthday. I was going to loose 20 pounds to prepare for it. I think I gained 5. I was going to get another tattoo, I never got around to it. Yet, now, here it is. Surprisingly, I have a new sense of peace. We just took the family on a most amazing trip to Texas. It was a trip filled with many blessings and much beauty. My husband joined the ranks of the employed with a great job right here in Gilbert. I find myself on the cusp of some very interesting things professionally. I look around me and see real, authentic, loving relationships. I see, now, that the struggled of my 30's has left me looking forward to a decade with a sense of accomplishment and security in knowing that I have done so much of the work to prepare myself for whatever is to come. All of that struggle and work was worth it, every bit.
Bring on the next decade!!

Front page!!

This is the article that appeared in The State newspaper in 2005. It was a very interesting turn of events that led me to the front page of South Carolina's largest newspaper. I had become involved in the South Carolina Breastfeeding Action Committee, mainly because I was the Area Coordinator of Leaders for La Leche League of South Carolina and a post-partum nurse. I also happened to be pregnant and nursing a baby during this year long process.

I was sent an email to let me know that my name had been given to a reporter who wanted to do a story about the proposed bill. I had already spoken on a couple of expert panels and had a pretty good idea of what to say. When the reporter called me, he started asking the usual questions. I tried very hard to answer them in an articulate and interesting way. After a few minutes of talking, he laughed and said he didn't know much about children or breastfeeding. He didn't have any kids. I laughed, too. I finally said, "will you let me ramble for a little bit? I think I know what you want to try to say." After a few minutes of rambling, he got very excited. He then started asking very good questions. He called me back a little while later and asked if I knew anyone who would pose for a picture while breastfeeding. Well, I happened to be nursing my own baby. The next thing I know, I am meeting a photographer at a friend's house for a photo shoot.

This turned out to be an incredibly intense day for me. I had, up until this point, tried to be fairly private about my parenting/nursing/family beliefs. I had just joined a new church, and I knew that it was not very child friendly. I had only been out of nursing school for a little over a year. I was trying very hard to fly under the radar and just take care of my kids. I had absolutely no intention of becoming a spokesperson for anything. I started becoming a little nervous about this story that I expected to get tucked into a second or third Metro section article. I got even more nervous when I volunteered to pose for a picture. Can you imagine what I felt like when I opened up the newspaper and saw my picture on the front page?!? My dad had never even seen my nurse a baby!

It was one of those moments that I realized that I did not have much of a choice any more. People would know where I stand, and I had to be ok with that. My days of flying under any radar would be over. It would eventually make me a target. Usually, when one works towards being well differentiated, it threatens other people and they react strongly. I think this keeps many people from expressing their beliefs, it has kept me quiet for many months now.

I am having a hard time with all of the ruckus surrounding the Chic-fil-a mess. I am happy to see people giving their money to a business they support. I think this is one of those things that makes this country great. What is nagging me is my own silence. I've kept my mouth shut for fear of alienating my friends who believe differently. This is a hotly debated issue, and I really don't care what you believe either way.

That said, my brother is gay. I've known since he was 4 years old that *something* was different. I've also watched him struggle his whole life being judged by people and told he was going to hell, or depraved or whatever. I've even been guilty of judging him and wondering "Why?".

Jesus commanded us to love one another. That is all. I love my LGTB friends, and I love the ones condemning them. I love you all.